If Sex and the City Took Place in 2018

If Sex and the City Took Place in 2018

 

In June of 1998, we were introduced to the women of the iconic HBO series, Sex and the City. We watched as Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda navigated friendships, relationships, jobs, and life in their beloved Manhattan. And we couldn’t help but wonder…what situations would the fab four find themselves in if the show aired in 2018?

  • Charlotte takes a Buzzfeed quiz that reveals she was a snow leopard in a previous life. She goes to visit the snow leopards at the Central Park Zoo and feels a connection.
     
  • Carrie sends Big a Netflix and chill text. An hour later, Big texts back, “K.” Carrie thinks he wants to break-up. Big says, “It was just a K, not a declaration of war.” Carrie says he could at least send an emoji and shows him how to use the emoji keyboard. Big drives Carrie crazy texting long, nonsensical emoji chains.
     
  • Samantha dates a Hemsworth but finds out too late it’s the wrong Hemsworth.
     
  • Carrie stays with Big while AirBNB-ing her apartment to pay for her new Gucci ankle boots. The renters steal her pair of Gucci ankle boots.
     
  • Samantha goes to L.A. for business and meets a producer for The Bachelor at a bar. After a few drinks, she pitches herself to be the next Bachelorette and he laughs, saying it’s not the Geriatric Bachelorette. Samantha is livid. She flashes her boobs to the entire bar to prove she’s hot and gets escorted out by security.
     
  • Miranda is convinced her Amazon Echo hates her. “She judges me for putting condoms on my shopping list!”
     
  • Charlotte starts dating a handsome, sophisticated art critic for the New York Times, convinced he’s the one. After three dates, he texts her a dick pic. At lunch, she shows it to the other girls, who all say for a dick pic, it’s a pretty good one. Charlotte is horrified and breaks up with him.
     
  • Carrie accidentally emails her editor her Game of Thrones fanfiction instead of her column. The editor writes back, “Not your usual work, but I totally ship Jon Snow and the Mother of Dragons.”
     
  • Samantha makes a plan for everyone to attend the Women’s March but can’t decide which issue they should support. Miranda says she can’t participate in a march that doesn’t have a clear message, saying, “I know it’s about women but what about women? We’re more than some slogan on a poster board.” Carrie works on her next column writing, “I couldn’t help but wonder, have we over-issued ourselves to the point where we no longer support anything at all?”
     
  • Carrie becomes friends with Chrissy Teigen after meeting her at a nail salon. Chrissy offers to teach her how to make tamales and posts a video of them on Instagram. Someone comments “Looks like it’s blondie’s first time in a kitchen” and Carrie has a meltdown. “I have a troll,” she shrieks. The girls ask her for tickets to the John Legend show.
     
  • At Crossfit, Miranda runs into Gregory, a Tinder date that went sour. When she tries to jump onto the plyometric box, she misses and kicks it into Gregory’s face, breaking his nose. He sues her for damages, saying he’s a model and she ruined his career. The case gets dropped when Miranda discovers he’s a hand model.
     
  • Charlotte meets Lin-Manuel Miranda at a Hamilton-themed benefit for immigrants and becomes obsessed with social justice. She judges the other girls for not being “woke” about DACA and the DREAMers. Samantha suggests they get a round of DACA-ri’s.
     
  • Samantha gets an Uber and the driver is hot. They end up doing it in a parking garage, making her late to meet the girls for lunch. And the sex wasn’t even that good! She gives the driver two stars.
     
  • Charlotte does the Ketogenic diet and loses 2 inches from her right thigh but zero inches from her left. Her lopsided thighs totally throw off her tennis game.
     
  • Charlotte befriends Real Housewife personality, Luann de Lesseps, but refuses to be on camera for the show. Luann calls to question her about it and Charlotte admits she thinks the show is trashy. Luann records the phone call and it airs on the show, humiliating Charlotte. Samantha chides her saying, “Honey, everyone knows Luann is Manhattan’s biggest trainwreck. If you want to get to know a housewife, let me introduce you to my good friend Bethenny.”
     
  • The girls are inspired by the #metoo movement and each decide to donate money to the cause. Charlotte wears a #metoo t-shirt to the coffee shop for lunch, where they run into Seth, a guy Charlotte went on one date with months ago. He turns his nose up at her t-shirt, saying it’s a bandwagon issue and most women aren’t even telling the truth, they just want to ruin men’s lives. Samantha stands up and gets in his face, shouting, “Honey, listen up and listen good. I believe women. I believe them when they say they’ve been harassed, abused, assaulted, harangued and hassled. I believe them when they say they did all the work, but a man took the credit. I believe them when they say they’re owed a raise for doing an exceptional job. I believe women. Just like I believed Charlotte when she said you were a limp-dicked, nose-picker with bad breath. Because, I! Believe! Women!” Everyone in the coffee shop applauds.

 

This story was originally published on The Uncommon Muse. Since they are so awesome and all about women helping women they have agreed to share it with use.  Please check them out!

ABOUT THE UNCOMMON MUSE

The Uncommon Muse is by women, for women, about women. We elevate women's voices and tell their stories so they can share their passions, their work, their play, their creativity, their style. They can discuss health, wealth, bodies, souls, heartbreaks, triumphs. 

The Uncommon Muse is committed to taking a stand, even when it's controversial; to fueling curiosity and opening a window to the world of women. We want to celebrate differences and champion common ground. We want to take up space. We want to stand on our own and lean on a powerful community of women at the same time. 

Most importantly, we want to enable women to tell their stories, because we're sick and tired of others doing it for us.

7 comments

  • Peggy rothchild: May 29, 2023

    SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ONLINE WITH A TRUSTED AND RELIABLE SPELL CASTER. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com
     My name is Peggy Rothchild and I am very happy to doctor Odunga for helping me get my ex husband back and this made me very excited that I came online here to post about his work. I made a promise to him that if he got my ex husband to me in 2 days, I will make a great testimony and bring many people who need help to him for help. His spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been helping so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My husband Peter is now back with me and this spell caster brought my husband back to me in 2 days, someone who left me for 4 years now. Contact this man. He will help you and you will see. His temple Email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whatsapp number +2348167159012

  • Albert Walker: April 19, 2023

    Good day to all viewer online, my name is Albert Walker I am so overwhelmed sharing this great testimony on how i was checking for solution in the internet while miraculously i came across Dr Kachi who brought my ex Girlfriend back to me, This is the reason why i have taken it upon myself to thank this great spell caster called Dr Kachi, because through his help my life became more filled with love and i am happy to say that my ex Girlfriend who has been separated from me for the past 2years came back to me pleading for me to accept her back, This was a shocking to me my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before, because before i contacted Dr Kachi i was the one begging my ex Girlfriend to come back to me but through the assistance of Dr Kachi, I now have my relationship restored. You can also have a better relationship only if you Contact Dr Kachi Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site  OR Email: drkachispellcast@gmail.com You can reach him Call and Text Number:+1 (209) 893-8075

  • Natasha Thompson: January 09, 2023

    My name is Natasha Thompson from the USA/Texas.. Am so overwhelmed with gratitude to let the world know how Dr Kachi, the great spell caster changed my life for good. It all started when I lost my job and I was down financially and emotionally because I couldn’t be able provide for my two kids and staying home all day Jobless it’s not easy until I was checking on the internet when I saw a series of testimonies hearing people winning the Powerball lottery, I didn’t believed, but being poor no job you have no option. I gave it a try and I contacted Dr Kachi who told me what i have to do before I can become a big lottery winner and I accepted. He made special prayers for me in his temple and gave me the required numbers to play the lottery game and when I used the numbers to play it, I won a massive $344.6 million Powerball jackpot. I was so happy and I choose to review my winning in any platform, I would love other people to seek help from Dr Kachi through Text and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 or email drkachispellcast@gmail.com by his website:: https://drkachispellcast.wixsite.com/my-site

  • pvwooundpt: March 23, 2021

    Muchas gracias. ?Como puedo iniciar sesion?

  • Sammie: June 23, 2018

    Love this blog post! I used to watch this show so i loved this update!

  • Emmie: June 23, 2018

    OMG im in love with this post. Love how they get “woke.”

  • Amy: June 23, 2018

    This is great. Thanks for a good laugh! I love this show.

Leave a comment